Pan(dem)ic



I go for a walk

Trying to clear my head and air out these winterized bones

I watch the ducks floating along the stream beside the path

They are calm, peaceful, letting the water glide over their feathers

And I am like a duck, letting all this slide off me

Continuing along my path, untroubled

But I’m not untroubled

Because yesterday’s troubles still haven’t gone

And today the world has turned inside out

And I walk along, trying to maintain normalcy somehow

And a man jogs past and I wave

Even as I hold my breath, knowing it’s senseless

But each time I pass someone I do it anyway

Wave and hold my breath until they pass

And I think of the ducks and I tell myself to be calm

Just let it all float past

But my ankle aches, and I worry

I watch my footing carefully

What if I fell?  What if I broke my ankle and had to go to the hospital?

It’s not safe

Nothing is safe

And I think of the ducks

And I think of them furiously paddling beneath the calm surface of the water

And I am like a duck

Trying to keep calm outwardly while inside I am paddling furiously

Just trying to stay afloat