The Invisible Man

I trace your jawline with my fingertips
Read the topography of your smile as I reach your mouth
I imagine the crinkling at the corners of your eyes
Though I cannot see you
It is pitch black in this room where we meet
But I can feel you
I know you

Sometimes you're gone away from me for so long that I wonder if you're ever coming back
Some nights I lie awake waiting for you to come to me
And then I feel a breeze stir the curtains
Hear a soft step approaching the bed
And I know you've come back to me
I open my arms, open my heart
It doesn't matter where you've been

Other nights fear enters my room like a lover
Her icy fingers trace my spine
And murmur in my ear that you will never return to me
That you are hers now
I try to shut her out, curling in toward myself
If you want me, I'm yours
I roll over and tell her that I don't care
If you don't want me, I will cease to want you
I cannot be ruled by fear

And when fear has gone her way I find myself entertaining hope
We drink a toast together in the dark and dream of what might be
We giggle like children, drunk on future happiness
She tells me you may be there even in the light
That you could be mere inches from me and I wouldn't know your face
She tells me you'll be back
And that you're worth the wait
But eventually I turn my back on her, too
I cannot subsist on hope alone

The emptiness is full of these demons that keep me company in the black of night
Until I hear that familiar step approaching
And they scatter like birds as I open my arms to you once again
Each time knowing
As long as you come back to me I will welcome you
To trace your features in the dark
To feel your smile pressed against my lips
To imagine what it might be like to look into your eyes
And to know that you are real and you are here
And not just a dream that returns to haunt me like the ghost of love night after night

But for now, this is all I have
And so I make it all I need
And I make the darkness stretch across the light
Even as I curse the sun for rising
Staring wide eyed at the dawn, hoping to catch just a glimpse of you, my love
Before you turn to smoke and drift away from me once more